Applying for a Job at Crossover for Work

Who would want to work at a company so out of touch with reality?

David Siegel
12 min readDec 9, 2020


Imagine …

A Zoom meeting with Andy Tryba, CEO of Crossover for Work ...

Andy: “Okay people, we need to hire some new talent for a big client. I’m going to need someone who can get at least 40 questions right on a 50-question multiple-choice test in 15 minutes. Probably have to guess some of the answers because of the time constraint. Do we have someone who can do that?”

Right Hand Man: “Absolutely. Rob has all the test-prep files. I’ll ask him to start memorizing.”

Andy: “Great. Now I need someone who got good grades in school and can write 50 high-performing topic sentences in a Google spreadsheet.”

Right Hand Man: “I think Gabrielle would be good for that. I’ll ping her on Skype.

Andy: “Fantastic. We need to write a dozen job descriptions. Who knows the format?”

Suneel: “I do. I’ve written a few thousand of them. I have the Excel template. I always hit the word-count on the nose.”

Andy: “Perfect. Now, the client wants to know: six is 12 percent of what number?”

Sandra: “Fifty.”

Andy: “Very good, Sandra. How did you know that?”

Sandra: “You asked it in the last meeting.”

Andy: “Good attentiveness and retention. Now, we’re going to have to evaluate and rank about 500 candidates. Do we have the right keyword-recognition software?”

Danielle: “I just fed in the latest keywords and it’s ready to go, Andy.”

Andy: “Who is good at comparison questions, like “Proficient is to practice as …”

Everyone: “Strong is to Exercise.”

Andy: “Right, I always forget that one. Can you take those, Esmerelda?

Esmerelda: “I’m on it like brown on rice, Andy.”

The meeting goes on like this for another half hour, because this is what we need in businesses today — people who can follow instructions exactly.

The Bait



David Siegel

Provocateur, professional heretic, slayer of myths, speaker of truthiness to powerfulness, and defender of the Oxford comma.